the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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