my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You may now shotgun with the bride
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
