he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
this is an emotional support booty call
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
