I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
