Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
