who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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