Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
