we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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