I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
