there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
