Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
