come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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