So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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