Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
