I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
