Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
