i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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