mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
