there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
