I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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