apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
