D3 body, D1 cock
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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