hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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