There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
