Having a random hookup so left but love u
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
