The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
