I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
