theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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