Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
