That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
