Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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