took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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