We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
