i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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