no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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