wakey wakey hands off snakey
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
