The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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