but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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