Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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