we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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