I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
