"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
