there's paper in my vomit.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
