those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
