This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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