no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
