Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I wish my penis had an off switch

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(650): View more from California

I love my bros weed

(650): View more from California

Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though

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(240): View more from Maryland

No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic

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(248): View more from Michigan

Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.

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(309): View more from Illinois

it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

bring money and cleavage

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(804): View more from Virginia

She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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(440): View more from Ohio

If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.

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