Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
