OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
