Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
