I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
